Do you find yourself ruminating on a particular feeling or thought repeatedly but not sure if it’s right or wrong?  Are you convinced about an issue but try to make excuses by living in denial? It’s time to start trusting your instinct.                                       87487-83411

If we learn to trust our instincts, we will be able to make more wise decisions and reduce mistakes we make. That thing called gut feeling is real, it’s a built-in guide inside each person to help with discernment. People who advise to search for answers deep within know that it is certain to find it there.

Unfortunately, because there are many other conflicting thoughts and desires in people’s minds and hearts, they tend to overshadow the main guide. It then clouds the thought process of the decision maker and confuse him or her to make wrong decisions. You may ask that, how can you possibly know which one of these thoughts are the right instinct. This is a great question. The amazing thing about instinct is that, it recurs and it is persistent until you either accept it or shut it out of your mind. The best way to connect with it for the right conviction is by being calm to connect to your inner being. This is the point where some will meditate by thinking without interference and disruptions. This helps to filter out  all of the nagging deceptive thoughts to focus on your personal goals and the purpose of the decision you are trying to make. You then carefully settle for the thought that makes you feel peaceful. The answer lies within.


How to maintain happiness in relationships

– Love yourself first and find happiness from within—– It starts with you, if you don’t find a reason to be happy, no one can convince you to be.

–  Each person in a relationship should learn the other’s love language in order to each other happy

– Be considerate and selfless in your relationship

– Love unconditionally

– Learn to live freely and avoid being bitter

– Focus on positive things rather than negative.

– Choose to be happy regardless of what situation arises.

– Take control of your emotions

– Avoid depending on others to make you happy



Relationships and happiness.

623-03556397Should you depend on your partner for happiness? It is crucial to understand that happiness is a state of mind rather than an acquired emotion. What’s the point of being in a relationship if happiness is absent? Couples are commonly asked whether they are happy in their relationship.This is because, the state of a relationship can affect a person’s emotion. For example, having an abusive or inconsiderate partner can  and will make anyone unhappy. While situations surrounding a person can influence his/her level of happiness, the ability to channel these situations positively or negatively depends on the individuals. In order words, happiness starts from within and this helps to secure and regulate your emotions. It is about the choices made on how to react or respond to situations.

Common mistakes made with relation to happiness in a relationship;

-There are several unrealistic expectations of happiness from relationships.

– People tend to rely so much on partners to make bring happiness

– Having the wrong perception of happiness

– Not recognizing when a partner is trying to make you happy

– Expecting partner to heal every hurt incurred from past relationships.

It is important to avoid making the above listed mistakes and make effort to change perception of love being a product of a relationship. It should rather be viewed as an attribute people need to keep a relationship going and work better with each other. If a person is unhappy for any reason, the relationship and everyone  else around will be affected in one way of the other. Therefore, let happiness flow from inside and any effort made by a partner to contribute to it will be a bonus. On the other hand, it is possible for people in relationships to make each other unhappy by their action and words. In this case, if happiness has always been present, it becomes easier to address the issues and know when to draw the line when state of happiness is being jeopardized.

When a person enters into a relationship without any ray of happiness they set unrealistic expectation for a partner to start filling their empty heart. The problem with this is that, the partner is not aware of how deep the emptiness is and how much needs to be done to fill the emptiness. This person is just trying to love and to be loved in turn, they are not therapists or magicians.




Jordin and Jason are over.

About three years ago, these adorable couple were so much admired by the public with the expectation that their relationship will last long. Jason Derulo, 25 and Jordin Sparks , 24 had always been open about their love  as they both appeared in Jason’s music video, “Marry Me.”.  Unfortunately, the relationship is reportedly over. The two have agreed to remain friends. jordin-sparks-jason-derulo-ama-2012-red-carpet-01

When your partner gives a gift you don’t like.

imagesShould you pretend to like it or be honest? Every once in a while, there is tendency to get an unusual gift from a loved one. When this happens, one becomes confused about how to react in order not to hurt the giver’s feelings. However, the receiver wants to be able to express the fact that this gift is not acceptable, desirable, or tolerable.

So here is what to do,

– In this writer’s opinion, Accept the gift first and common courtesy demands that a person should have a clear sense of appreciation to show gratitude for the time and thoughtfulness of the giver.

– If you are allergic to the gift, explain right after accepting the gift but do not return it. Give it to someone else.

-If you are not allergic but dislike it,  sooner or later, your partner needs to know. So, wait  till days or weeks later, you can drop hints about things you like. Also, if you both are comfortable with each other and have good level of communication, you can be totally honest about your thoughts regarding the gift(s) in the middle of one of your conversations.


-Do not show right away that you don’t like it-  Some might say, this is being deceptive but it is called being appreciative.

– Do not throw the gift back in your partner’s face

-Do not totally wait for too long getting the same unpleasant gift over and over again, you won’t feel good after a while.

In all, honesty is important but be wise in expressing yourself in order to avoid hurting your partner or lover’s feelings.

Share your personal experience and what you did.

Falling in Love vs. Being in Love

falling-in-love“There is a clear distinction between “falling in love” and “being in love.” People often use these expressions interchangeably without realizing its implications. These situations occur at different stages in a relationship. Even though the word “love” is included in both, it does not indicate the existence of love in one of them.  Lets analyze this, the feeling you get when you see someone once or a few times and you get attracted to the person is often referred to as falling in love when in fact it is only the stage of liking a person. When you’re falling in love, you don’t necessarily know the person well enough; in some cases you might not even know the person at all.  People often state that they are falling in love when having a crush on someone. For example, “there is an attractive lady at my workplace whom I see all the time but we have never spoken, I think I might be falling in love with her.”  This person may just like the lady but expresses it as “falling in love.” In certain instances when people are falling in love, it does not always last till the stage of being in love. Falling in love, which in literal sense should be the liking and admiring phase can quickly fade away.

On the other hand, being in love means that you are actually in love with a person and there has been a kind of connection between the two.  It has the potential of lasting longer than just falling in love. Being in love involves a deeper level of attraction and interaction. Its goes beyond merely falling in love, it is infact, several steps beyond that. To get to the stage of being in love with someone, it takes times and probably several months of interacting and communicating to develop this real feeling of love. It’s a more substantial feeling based on intimacy, compared to “falling in love” which is more based on infatuation. It is important to know the differences between these two statement in order to assess your emotional state toward a person,  or in a relationship.

Why Date?

Dating has almost become human beings’ next nature. Children under age 7 are talking about boyfriend/girlfriend. One might be provoked to ask, is dating a requirement for human existence? It has become a social expectation to the extent that some people who have difficulty finding love hurt themselves or get depressed as a result.

Why then do people date?

Interesting question that ought to be ruminated upon by everyone who intends to date or who are currently in relationships. It won’t be surprising to find that some don’t know why they date or desire to date.
A few reasons people give- “Sex,” “Everyone is dating,” “it’s time to date,” “I am always bored and lonely,” and peer pressure.

Many people date for reasons unknown to them, thereby forcing themselves to be with an incompatible partner.

Five reasons why you should date.

– Date because you want to love and be loved in return

– Date because you are mature enough to handle a relationship

-Date because you want to share your time with someone you can trust

– Date to learn how to tolerate other people

-Date to improve your social life

Related posts: Eight Reasons to date